Sunday, August 22, 2004

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

When I was growing up, certain things were just understood in our family. For example, we rarely, if ever, said aloud that we loved each other; you just knew that your parents and siblings loved you. On some level, it is a sad testament of how a family should express their feelings toward each other but this was the norm growing up in a semi-traditional Japanese household. My parents never told me they loved me or that they were proud of me except when I received a card from them expressing it. I was supposed to know these things. And I did. Whether growing up this way paved the way for my relationship with my family now remains to be seen but it seems to affect how my mom and I communicate today. The bottomline is that my mom and I don't see eye to eye when it comes to relationships. It's a subject we never really discussed growing up and was best avoided because what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. But I figured that since I am well past the age of consent, being somewhat honest wasn't a big deal. I was wrong. For some reason we can't seem to get to the real truth behind why she disapproves of what I'm doing. I know part of this has to do with a generational gap between us but you'd think that the amount of time she spends watching her "soaps" would clue her in on the fact that it's a different world out there. It doesn't mean your child is not moral or doesn't have any virtue but that the nature of relationships have changed. In fact, some might say that the way things were going was just too slow and too old-fashioned. Don't get me wrong... I still love and respect my mom but I also know I have to live my own life. Maybe some things are better left unsaid for the moment.