Monday, November 29, 2004

Colds and Cards

I think my cold is finally making its way to somewhere or someone else. Who? I don't know but I'm glad it's leaving my body. This cold has made me a bit cranky and grouchy. The person to take the brunt of this nastiness in my demeanor is my ever-loving sweetie. But, as usual, he takes it with ease and not much bother. How could I be this lucky? He's just a wonderful man with a big heart.

As far as wedding news goes, we finally got our Save the Date cards and I want to send them out this week. They came out really great and I am very pleased with them. Future-hubby is too as far as he knows looking at the sample online. I will have to send him one ASAP so that he can feel a part of the process. Only 200 more days to go!

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Dependence, part II

Okay, being dependent upon someone else isn't such a bad thing. It's just hard when that person is 2,000 miles away. But somehow they know just how to make things good again. I get awfully scared that the novelty of this all will wear off because there are bigger and better things out there. I told myself getting into this that it was okay to get hurt again because that's part of life. I lied. I don't want to get hurt and I know I won't. It just difficult to bridge the miles between us on some days.

Dependence

A rather long time ago I learned a difficult lesson about relationships. I'm not talking necessarily about romantic relationships but personal relationships in general. No matter what kind of relationship you have, being dependent upon someone else is a difficult thing. With that said, for a long time I did not and would not let myself become dependent upon someone else unless they were already related to me (i.e. mom, brother, aunt, uncle, etc.). But at some point if you engage in a relationship with someone, you have to give up a little bit of your independence because that's the nature of the game. The amount you give up is relative to your emotional investment in that person. I think we tend to give up the most to people we love the most. I am no different. I have good friends who I can depend on if and when I need them.

But friends are much more different than someone you are romantically tied to, especially someone who you plan to spend the rest of your life with. I'm not saying that you should give up your independence and depend solely on this person for everything; that is not the point I am trying to make. The point is that on some level you hope that person thinks and cares about you because you depend on them for your emotional and physical well-being. It should be something that is automatic because your life no longer just revolves around you but around someone else as well. But everyone is different and another difficult lesson I learned is that not everyone is like me or operates like how I would. I'm not really sure if that's acceptable.

I was sick all day today and I did not receive even one phone call to find out how I was doing or how I was feeling. Maybe the problem is that I am too dependent on someone else and need to just be dependent upon myself because in the end that's the only person I can depend on. That's quite a sad statement.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Family Time

It has become a tradition with my family to travel to Las Vegas for a week during Thanksgiving. They get to do their favorite activity while I get to see them. It's funny how you can take this kind of family time for granted. It never really crossed my mind that there may be a time where we wouldn't spend this holiday together. The funny part is that my family fully expects that I probably won't spend Thanksgiving with them next year and, really, I probably won't given my circumstances. With my impending marriage next year, there are many things that will be changing in my life. How do you decide which holidays you spend with which family? And what do you do if your husband has a job which makes it impossible for him to take any real vacation time during the holidays? Marriage brings with it many new challenges including figuring out our family time. Of course there wouldn't be much of a discussion if both of our families lived relatively close together. Really the bottom line is that I get to spend the holidays with my new family, my husband, and perhaps our own little family in the future.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Being Thankful

Certainly I am not only thankful during this one time of the year but at least it gives me a chance to reflect back and think about those who have touched my life over the years and who have begun to touch my life in the last year.

I am thankful for my mom and brother who continue to lend their support to me whenever I ask for it. I am thankful for my aunty and uncle who have over the last few years become a second set of parents. I am thankful for the friends I have who consistently stayed in my life over the years and are quick to be around when I need them or don't need them. I am thankful for a grouchy kitty who stole my heart when I brought her home after someone found her wandering around several years ago. I could end my list here but this year I have much more to be thankful for.

I am thankful for the man who stole my heart over the last year and who has promised to love me the rest of my life. I am thankful for the new family who opened their home and hearts to me despite the unusual circumstances of our relationship. I am thankful for the new friends that I met briefly who I'm sure will become good friends in the coming years.

Happy Thanksgiving 2004!

Friday, November 19, 2004

Husband Advice

Today a good friend and I were talking about our significant others. She has been married for over 25 years while I am on the verge of getting married. We both seem to have the most understanding SOs who love us for who we are, quirks and all. She commented that perhaps my future husband was getting advice from her husband being that they seem so alike. This wouldn't surprise me if they had actually met. They have yet to meet and I hope they get to meet soon because we are both sure they will get along so great! The funny part is that her husband is a history professor while my future hubby has a degree in history and poli sci. Coincidence? Yes and a rather amusing one.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

I Never Want To Leave

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would bring me back to you
That someday it would bring me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness (he) is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness (he) is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on sunday morning
And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself home to you

And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness (he) is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Sunday Morning by Maroon 5

Life seems to stop all around me when I am apart from you.

Monday, November 15, 2004

A Bridget Jones Weekend

I've been anxiously awaiting the follow up to the original Bridget Jones's Diary movie for a couple of reasons: Colin and Hugh. Basically that's the best thing about the movie other than Renee who looks absolutely fabulous in my opinion. It was a weak attempt at a rather good book though not as good as the original. I think that will be the end of the Bridget Jones movies I'm sorry to say. I still think Colin's best role is and will always be as Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. And, Hugh, well he's just good eye-candy with a great English accent. I'm perplexed to read that he plans on "retiring" from being an actor but I guess after awhile the appeal wears off? He hasn't had any great roles lately so maybe he feels he can do something else with his life. We'll see how long that lasts.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Advice

Once everyone knows you are getting married and are serious about getting married, you get all kinds of interesting advice. For example, I have gotten advice on everything from planning the wedding, being a "good" wife and even what I should expect from my soon-to-be husband. In addition I have gotten advice from the newly married to the married over 20+ years wives. The generational gap of wives shows tremendously when I hear all of them. Of course, all of this is taken with a smile, a nod and a "uh huh," but the most important advice or rather opinion is my soon-to-be hubby's. I like to joke about the kind of wife he might expect out of me (i.e. Stepford) and sometimes it's more of a "fishing" expedition for me for information. I think I do this occasionally because my role model as a wife is my mom. She was a traditional housewife who didn't work, much like Beaver Cleaver's mom. So I worry that I won't be that kind of wife and mother. But my future hubby doesn't want that kind of wife or mother. Sure I am traditional and will have some of those tendencies but for the most part I have my own career and goals in life. He and our future family are part of those goals and I will dedicate myself to them as I can. So bring on the advice and let me pick and choose the ones I like.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

An Engaging Vacation

I had a great vacation; the best vacation ever! In a nutshell, this vacation will be one that I will never forget since I became officially engaged (yay!) on October 27th. I never really thought too much about how I would like someone to ask me to marry them other than I just wanted to be asked. But this was as perfect as I could have imagined and fit both of us rather well: simple, elegant and with some stun factor! Both of us were floating on cloud 9 during the whole vacation as two newly engaged people should be and everyone around us basked in our glow. I miss and love you so much Mr. Pookinstien! =)

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Simply Amazing

Only a few more hours before my fabulous vacation ends. It's been the best vacation ever! And it's also been a nice look into the future. We are still learning about each other and still in that "honeymoon" phase of our relationship but with each passing day we become that "normal" couple. Both of us need that, especially at this point in our lives. Everything else is not so important anymore but the kind of people we can be for each other: loving, caring, kind, safe and supportive. It's been an amazing time and the more I want our lives to begin immediately.