Monday, February 28, 2005

It's Life

Why is it that I still worry about what my mom thinks? I don't think it's so much what she thinks but how it upsets her. My relationship has been difficult for my mom because she has to deal with me moving even farther away from her. I did not intend my life to take this turn nor did I force it this way. Things happen. You meet someone. You don't know at the time where it will go. But it goes. Far. There's a proposal. You accept. You make decisions. Life has a funny way of happening. You think at 35 years of age you are no longer a little girl. But to your parents, you are always their little girl. Though my father has passed away, I wonder how he would have reacted. He had very strong opinions about people and about my decisions. I am sad that he cannot share in this time with me as a father should with a daughter. But if this was something that he would not approve of, I am glad I don't have to deal with that. Though I gave up being their little girl a long time ago, I think my mom still sees me as that baby she first saw at the airport when I was three months old coming through the gate with the social worker. I know in her way she is trying hard to accept the next stage in my life.